Serenity prayer

Summary

Our father prayer

Serenity prayer

The Common (Short) Version

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

2. The Full Original Version (by Reinhold Niebuhr)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

Part I: The Historical Provenance – Unearthing the Author

For years, the authorship of the Serenity Prayer was shrouded in a fog of attribution. It has been credited to everyone from St. Francis of Assisi and Thomas Aquinas to Cicero and even Mother Goose. However, the rigorous work of historical theology has definitively traced its origins to the 20th-century American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr.

The context of its creation is vital for understanding its weight. Niebuhr did not write this prayer in a vacuum of peaceful contemplation. He composed it in the shadow of rising fascism and the looming catastrophe of World War II. Though the exact date is debated, the most reliable evidence suggests it was first used in a sermon around 1932 or 1934 in Heath, Massachusetts.

This historical backdrop fundamentally changes how we read the text. This was not a prayer for a quiet Sunday afternoon; it was a prayer for a world on the brink of destruction. When Niebuhr spoke of “things I cannot change,” he was looking at the geopolitical machinations of Hitler and Stalin. When he spoke of “courage to change,” he was calling for ethical resistance against tyranny. The Serenity Prayer is, at its roots, a wartime prayer—a spiritual weapon designed for the fiercest battles of existence.

Part II: Theological Exegesis – The Triad of Grace

To fully grasp the power of this prayer, we must perform a theological dissection of its three central pillars: Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom. These are not merely abstract virtues; they are distinct modes of operating in a fallen world.

The First Petition: Serenity and Acceptance “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.”

In the Christian tradition, serenity is not synonymous with apathy or stoicism. It is not a passive resignation to fate. Rather, it is the active alignment of the human will with the reality of God’s sovereignty. The Greek concept of eirene (peace) implies a wholeness that remains intact despite external fracturing.

The prayer begins with a request for “acceptance.” This cuts against the grain of the modern human impulse, which seeks to dominate, control, and manipulate the environment. To accept what cannot be changed is an act of profound humility. It is an admission of creatureliness. It acknowledges that we are not the authors of history, nor are we the masters of the universe. It draws heavily from the spirit of Gethsemane, where Christ prayed, “Not my will, but yours be done.”

The Second Petition: Courage and Agency “Courage to change the things I can.”

If the first petition invites us to sit still, the second commands us to stand up. This is the counterbalance that prevents the prayer from becoming a crutch for passivity. Theologically, this speaks to the doctrine of human agency and stewardship.

God has granted humanity a sphere of influence. There are injustices we can right, habits we can break, and relationships we can mend. To fail to act in these areas is not serenity; it is sloth. The prayer asks for courage because change is inherently frightening. It requires risk, confrontation, and the expenditure of energy. This petition reminds the believer that faith is not a spectator sport. It validates the Christian mandate for social justice, personal reformation, and moral action.

The Third Petition: Wisdom and Discernment “And wisdom to know the difference.”

This is the fulcrum upon which the entire prayer rests. Without wisdom, serenity becomes complacency, and courage becomes recklessness. Wisdom, or Sophia in the biblical text, is the ability to perceive the true nature of things.

This petition asks for the spiritual gift of discernment. It is the ability to look at a situation—a terminal diagnosis, a broken marriage, a systemic injustice—and accurately categorize it. Is this a mountain to be moved, or a thorn to be endured? The tragedy of the human experience is often found in the confusion of these two categories: wasting our lives trying to change the unchangeable (others, the past, the weather) while neglecting the changeable (our attitudes, our actions, our future).

Part III: The Lost Half – The Full Text Analysis

Most the world knows only the abbreviated version of the prayer adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous. However, Niebuhr’s original text continues, and the second half contains the theological engine that makes the first half possible. To neglect the full version is to miss the “how” of the prayer.

The full text reads: “Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.”

The Theology of “As It Is” The line “Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it” is a radical corrective to idealism. Christian realism asserts that we live in a broken world. Much of our anxiety stems from a refusal to accept this brokenness, demanding a utopia that cannot exist on this side of the Eschaton. By accepting the world “as it is,” we stop fighting reality and start navigating it with grace.

The Theology of “One Day at a Time” This echoes the Manna principle of the Old Testament and the Lord’s Prayer (“Give us this day our daily bread”). It is a call to temporal containment. Anxiety lives in the future; regret lives in the past. Serenity can only be found in the immediate present. This stanza provides the psychological mechanism for achieving the peace requested in the opening lines.

Part IV: The Recovery Movement and Global Adoption

The migration of the Serenity Prayer from the theological academy to the global vernacular is largely due to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). In 1941, an early member brought the prayer to the attention of AA co-founder Bill W. They immediately recognized its utility.

For the addict, the distinction between what can be changed (the self, the decision to drink today) and what cannot be changed (the past, the reactions of others, the biochemistry of addiction) is a matter of life and death. The prayer provided a cognitive framework for recovery. It became the “liturgy of the broken,” proving that deep theology is often most useful in the trenches of human suffering.

Part V: Neurotheology – Why It Works on the Brain

Modern neuroscience offers fascinating insights into why this prayer is so effective. From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, the prayer functions as a “pattern interrupt.” When the brain is stuck in a loop of anxiety (the amygdala hijacking the prefrontal cortex), reciting the prayer forces a pause.

The sorting process—distinguishing between the controllable and uncontrollable—engages the executive functions of the brain. It moves the individual from an emotional state of panic to a logical state of analysis. By accepting the uncontrollable, cortisol levels drop. By focusing on the controllable, dopamine is released as the brain anticipates a plan of action. The prayer is, scientifically speaking, a perfect tool for emotional regulation.

Part VI: Conclusion – The Enduring Anchor

In my forty years of studying the intersection of faith and life, I have found no other text outside of Scripture that so succinctly captures the tension of the Christian life. We are called to be content, yet we are called to be reformers. We are called to rest, yet we are called to fight.

The Serenity Prayer is the anchor that holds these paradoxes together. It reminds us that we are not God, which is the source of our peace, but that we are co-workers with God, which is the source of our purpose. In a world that is increasingly chaotic, this prayer remains a steadying hand, guiding us back to the center, back to the truth, and back to the Prince of Peace.

The Great Archive of Wisdom: Frequently Asked Questions About the Serenity Prayer

 

To provide the most exhaustive resource available on the web, this section delves into the specific, nuanced, and practical questions regarding the Serenity Prayer. We will cover the history, the theological implications, the variations, and the application of this prayer in daily life.

Section 1: History and Authorship

 

Q1: Who is the undisputed author of the Serenity Prayer? A: While for decades there were rumors attributing the prayer to ancient sources, definitive research has established Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971) as the author. Niebuhr was a prominent American Reformed theologian, ethicist, and professor at Union Theological Seminary. His daughter, Elisabeth Sifton, wrote a memoir titled The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War, which details the context of her father creating the prayer. It was widely circulated in church bulletins and by the Federal Council of Churches during World War II, which led to its adoption by Alcoholics Anonymous.

Q2: Why do some people attribute it to St. Francis of Assisi or Boethius? A: This is a case of “spiritual attribution error.” In religious history, anonymous or powerful texts are often retroactively attributed to giants of the faith to lend them more weight or authority. The themes of the prayer—peace, acceptance, and simplicity—resonate with the Franciscan spirit, leading to the confusion. However, no manuscript evidence exists placing this text in the Middle Ages or antiquity. The language and structure are distinctly modern, reflecting 20th-century existential concerns.

Q3: When was the prayer first published? A: The earliest known printed version appeared in 1932 in a diary kept by Winnifred Crane Wygal, a student and collaborator of Niebuhr. However, it was formally published in a column by Niebuhr in 1951. Its explosion into public consciousness occurred in 1944 when a version was included in a book of prayers for servicemen during WWII, making it a source of comfort for soldiers facing the uncontrollable nature of war.

Q4: Did Reinhold Niebuhr write the “long version”? A: This is a subject of scholarly debate. Niebuhr was known to speak extemporaneously. It is believed he composed the core essence (the first three lines), but the longer version that includes “Living one day at a time…” may have been an expansion by Niebuhr himself later, or an amalgamation of his teachings compiled by others. However, the theology in the second half is entirely consistent with Niebuhr’s “Christian Realism,” suggesting it is authentically his thought, even if the exact poetic arrangement evolved over time.

Q5: Why did Alcoholics Anonymous adopt it? A: In 1941, an early AA member saw the prayer in an obituary in the New York Herald Tribune. He was struck by how perfectly it summarized the philosophy of the 12 Steps. He brought it to Bill W., the co-founder of AA. They realized that the prayer encapsulated the struggle of the alcoholic: the need to accept the disease (cannot change), the need to stop drinking (courage to change), and the need to know which battles to fight. They began printing it on wallet cards, and it has been recited at nearly every AA meeting since.

Section 2: Theological Deep Dives

 

Q6: Is the Serenity Prayer biblical? A: While the specific text is not found in the Bible, the concepts are deeply scriptural.

• Serenity/Acceptance: Philippians 4:6-7 (“Do not be anxious about anything… and the peace of God… will guard your hearts”). Also, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:42) accepting the Father’s will.

• Courage: Joshua 1:9 (“Be strong and courageous”). 2 Timothy 1:7 (“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power”).

• Wisdom: James 1:5 (“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God”). The prayer is essentially a systematic theology of Christian living condensed into three petitions.

Q7: Does “accepting the things I cannot change” mean giving up? A: No. Theologically, “acceptance” in this context defines the boundary between the Creator and the creature. There are aspects of reality—the laws of nature, the free will of others, the past—that belong to God’s domain or are fixed realities. Trying to change these leads to frustration and playing God. Acceptance is the active engagement of trust. It is saying, “I trust God enough to leave these matters in His hands so I can focus my energy where it matters.” It is a strategic redirection of energy, not a surrender to defeat.

Q8: How does this prayer relate to the doctrine of Original Sin? A: The full version of the prayer explicitly mentions “taking this sinful world as it is.” This reflects Niebuhr’s theology of Christian Realism. It acknowledges that the world is fallen and broken. Utopia is not possible on earth. Therefore, the Christian should not expect perfection from themselves or others. This acknowledgment of Original Sin creates the space for “serenity,” because we stop being shocked by brokenness and start learning how to live faithfully within it.

Q9: Is this a prayer for Stoics? A: Stoicism teaches the repression of emotion and the acceptance of fate through logic. While there are parallels (Epictetus taught distinguishing between what is up to us and what is not), the Serenity Prayer is distinctively Christian because it is a prayer. It is addressed to a Personal God (“God, grant me…”). Stoics rely on self-discipline; the Serenity Prayer relies on grace imparted by God. It seeks relationship, not just resilience.

Q10: What is the “Wisdom” the prayer asks for? A: This wisdom is Diakrisis (Greek for discernment). It is the ability to distinguish between reality and illusion. Often, we think we can change others (illusion) and think we cannot change our own habits (illusion). The wisdom requested is the spiritual sight to see the borders of our own agency. It is the wisdom to know when to fight and when to release.

Section 3: Practical Application and Daily Living

 

Q11: How can I use this prayer for anxiety? A: Use it as a “sorting mechanism.” When you feel anxious, write down your stressors. Then, apply the prayer to the list.

• List A (Cannot Change): The economy, the weather, what your boss thinks of you, the past. Move these to the “Serenity” pile. Pray for peace about them.

• List B (Can Change): Your budget, your umbrella, your work ethic, your response. Move these to the “Courage” pile. Make an action plan. This cognitive restructuring creates immediate relief by reducing the cognitive load of trying to control the uncontrollable.

Q12: Can this prayer help in marriage problems? A: Absolutely. It is often called the “Relationship Saver.”

• Cannot Change: Your spouse’s personality, their past, their feelings, their family.

• Can Change: Your reaction, your boundaries, your communication style, your own capacity to forgive. Applying the prayer stops the cycle of trying to fix the partner and focuses the energy on personal responsibility and healthy boundaries.

Q13: Is there a specific time of day to pray this? A: It is effective at any time, but many find it most powerful in the morning (as a framework for the day) or during moments of acute stress (“The Pause”). In 12-Step recovery, it is often used at the beginning and end of meetings to bookend the experience with spiritual focus.

Q14: Can I pray this for someone else? A: Yes. “God, grant them the serenity…” You can pray that a loved one finds the peace to accept their situation or the courage to make necessary changes (like seeking help for addiction). However, the primary power of the prayer is usually found in applying it to oneself first.

Q15: How does “Living one day at a time” help mental health? A: Psychological studies show that depression often focuses on the past, while anxiety focuses on the future. “Living one day at a time” forces mindfulness of the present. It aligns with Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6:34, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” It reduces the overwhelming scope of life to a manageable 24-hour unit.

Section 4: Cultural and Ecumenical Aspects

 

Q16: Is this prayer Catholic or Protestant? A: The author, Niebuhr, was Protestant (United Church of Christ). However, the prayer is universally accepted. It carries an Imprimatur in many Catholic prayer books and is used by Evangelicals, Mainline Protestants, and Orthodox Christians. Its theology of grace and dependence is “Mere Christianity,” fitting nearly every tradition.

Q17: Do other religions use this prayer? A: Yes. Because it addresses universal human experiences (limitations vs. agency), Jews, Buddhists, and even secular humanists utilize versions of it. The structure of distinguishing control aligns with Buddhist non-attachment and Jewish submission to the Divine will. However, the address “God” and the reference to Jesus in the long version mark its specific Christian origin.

Q18: Why is the word “God” sometimes removed? A: In secular settings or some modern recovery groups that emphasize a “Higher Power” without specific religious dogma, the “God” invocation is sometimes silent or removed to make it accessible to atheists or agnostics. However, doing so fundamentally changes the nature of the text from a prayer (requesting help from an external source) to an affirmation (stating an intention).

Q19: What is the “Courage to Change” relative to social justice? A: Niebuhr was a social activist. For him, “Courage to Change” was political. It meant standing up against Nazism, racism, and poverty. It is not just about changing personal habits like diet or exercise; it is about the courage to alter the structures of society that cause suffering. It is a prayer for the activist as much as the pietist.

Q20: Are there different versions of the prayer? A: Yes.

• The “Us” Version: “God grant us…” (Used in meetings).

• The “Me” Version: “God grant me…” (Personal devotion).

• Niebuhr’s Original: “God, give us grace to accept with serenity…” (Slightly more formal wording). Despite small variations in wording (“courage to change” vs. “courage to change the things which should be changed”), the core triad of Serenity/Acceptance/Wisdom remains constant.

Section 5: Deep Theological Nuance

 

Q21: What is the difference between “Resignation” and “Acceptance”? A: Resignation is giving up hope; it feels like defeat. It says, “It is what it is, and it’s terrible.” Acceptance is opening one’s hands; it feels like trust. It says, “It is what it is, and God is still here.” Serenity is born of acceptance, not resignation. Acceptance creates a platform for God to work; resignation shuts the door.

Q22: Why is the “Wisdom” the hardest part? A: Because the line between what we can and cannot change is often blurry. Example: Can I change my health? Yes (diet/exercise). Can I change my diagnosis? Maybe not. Example: Can I change my child’s behavior? No. Can I change the environment I raise them in? Yes. Wisdom requires honesty, the removal of ego, and often the counsel of others to see where the boundary line truly lies.

Q23: How does the Serenity Prayer relate to the sovereignty of God? A: It affirms Compatibilism—the idea that God’s sovereignty and human responsibility exist together. “Accepting what I cannot change” honors God’s Sovereignty (He is in control of the macro). “Changing what I can” honors Human Responsibility (we are stewards of the micro). The prayer harmonizes these two major theological poles.

Q24: What does “supremely happy with You forever in the next” imply? A: This line from the full prayer anchors the believer in Eschatology (the study of end times). It reminds us that total happiness is not available in this life (“this sinful world”). It lowers our expectations for earthly satisfaction, which paradoxically makes us happier because we aren’t demanding heaven on earth. It validates the Christian hope of the Beatific Vision—seeing God face to face in eternity.

Q25: Is there a connection to the “Fruit of the Spirit”? A: Yes.

• Serenity relates to Peace and Patience.

• Courage relates to Faithfulness.

• Wisdom relates to Self-Control. Praying this prayer is essentially asking the Holy Spirit to manifest His fruit in the believer’s life.

Q26: Can this prayer help with forgiveness? A: Yes. We cannot change the past (what was done to us). We must accept it occurred. We can change our current bitterness through the act of forgiveness. Wisdom helps us know that forgiving doesn’t mean trusting or forgetting, but releasing the debt.

Q27: Why do people tattoo this prayer on themselves? A: It serves as a permanent, visual reminder of the “Instruction Manual for Life.” For those in recovery, it is a badge of survival. It marks the transition from a chaotic life of trying to control everything to a peaceful life of order and surrender.

Q28: How does “Trusting that You will make all things right” align with scripture? A: This line aligns with Romans 8:28 (“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him”). It allows the believer to let go of the need to be the “Fixer.” We don’t have to make it right; we trust the Creator to bring justice and restoration in His timing.

Q29: Is the Serenity Prayer a form of exorcism? A: Not in the literal sense of casting out demons, but in the psychological sense of casting out the “demons” of worry, control, and fear. It exorcises the false belief that we are God.

Q30: What is the ultimate goal of the Serenity Prayer? A: Freedom. The goal is to be free from the tyranny of the uncontrollable and free to be effective in the controllable. It aims to produce a human being who is calm, brave, and wise—a person who reflects the character of Christ in a turbulent world.